


Vultures and Tigers and Lemurs

by celestialskiff



Series: Found Family [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Day trips, Diapers, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Platonic Cuddling, Wetting, Zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3993946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialskiff/pseuds/celestialskiff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo and Skye were promised a trip to the zoo. Jemma and Natasha came along too. Total fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vultures and Tigers and Lemurs

**Author's Note:**

> Propriety_is_not_a_Priority mentioned how stressful the last episodes of SHIELD were and I said, "It's OK, they actually just went on a trip to the zoo." That kind of inspired me to write this.

LEO

Up here, it was so much lighter than the old base. Even with curtains closed. The rooms were always full of light: the dull glow of a hazy morning, or at night, the whole city gleaming with electricty. Leo wasn't used to it; it kept him up. He kept waking, looking at the shadows on the ceiling. 

That morning, though, he woke before Skye, but after Daddy. _Coulson_ , he instantly corrected himself. He woke after Coulson. 

Skye had shifted to the centre of the bed in her sleep. She was curled up against Leo's side, warm. He could hear the faint liquid sound of her thumb in her mouth. He felt sleepy, was tempted to roll over and curl back up against her. Even if he stayed awake, he'd feel safe snuggled up in the warmth with her. 

But he wanted to find Coulson. He knew Skye had trouble sleeping (he was pretty sure she'd started of in a different bed last night, and come in here to find Coulson) so he moved carefully, trying not to disturb her. Skye snuffled in her sleep, and sighed, but didn't wake up. 

Leo used the bathroom – both Daddy's room and May's room had an adjoining bathroom, which was handy. They were still staying in the Avengers Tower, and all the apartments were fancy. Then he took his monkey, and went to find Coulson. 

Coulson hadn't gone far. He was sitting in the living room, using a tablet, his eyes red and tired. He looked up. “Did I wake you, kid?” 

Leo shook his head. He sat down next to Coulson, close. He often worried Coulson wouldn't want him being so clingy and needing cuddles or affection so often. It wasn't what boys were supposed to want from their dads, was it? Leo wasn't sure. He'd never had a dad. 

But Coulson put his arm around Leo's shoulders, shifting his grip on the tablet to make it easier to hold Leo. Leo curled into Coulson's warmth, resting his head on Coulson's chest. He felt so safe here with Coulson: he wasn't sure he'd ever felt this safe anywhere else. 

For a moment he was able to just drift, feeling Coulson breathe, and smelling his warm, sleepy scent. The apartment still felt bare, not like a home: it wasn't anything like Pepper and Natasha's place, but his whole family was there, and that was the most important thing. 

Then Coulson said, “I'm not going to make it to the zoo today.” 

Leo looked up. Before he could think about it, he found himself saying, “But you promised!” in basically exactly the same tone Skye used when she was upset. 

“I know.” Coulson sounded sad. “I'm sorry. You guys can still go, Natasha and Pepper are looking forward to it as well. And there'll still be monkeys.” Coulson was trying to make him smile. “You'll barely notice I'm gone.” 

“I will notice,” Leo said. He wasn't trying to make Coulson feel guilty: he was just telling the truth. 

“We'll go again. And I'll have some free days soon. What if I took you to the science museum? How would that be?” 

Leo sighed. He settled back against Daddy's chest. He didn't want Coulson to make any promises he couldn't keep. “What are you doing today? Is it classified?”

Coulson stroked Leo's hair. “Not from you. Meetings. Cap is here, and Fury; this is the only time we can all three meet.” 

Leo chewed the sleeve of his pyjama top “That does sound important,” he said around the damp cloth. 

Coulson touched his arm, tugging his hand free. “Where's your teething ring?” The words _teething ring_ sounded so babyish. Skye called them his chew toys, which was kind of funny. 

He didn't know where any of them were: maybe in his bed, or maybe in Natasha's playroom. Or maybe under the couch. He couldn't keep track, so he just shrugged. 

“Well, I got you a present,” Coulson said. “I was going to give it to you later, but you can use it now.” 

He had to sit up so Coulson could get out his briefcase. Leo's hand went back to his mouth: he chewed the skin around one of his nails instead of his sleeve. Coulson sighed and handed him a small bag with a drawstring. 

Leo opened it. Inside was a plain, black disc on a chord. It was rubbery under his fingers. 

“You can chew it,” Coulson said. “And wear it around your neck, so you won't lose it.” 

Leo looked at it sceptically. “Chew it?” It looked too small. 

“Try it.” 

Leo brought it to his mouth, and nibbled on it gently. It felt about the same as the rubbery parts on his chew toys, maybe a little softer. He drew more of it into his mouth, biting down. 

“Good?” Coulson asked. 

“It works,” Leo said, nodding. “Do I look like a baby?” 

“No. It's discrete. Very suave. Maybe I'll get one too.” 

Leo knew it probably looked stupid, but he smiled anyway, because Coulson wanted him to. He let Coulson put the black chord around his neck. “Try wearing short sleeves today, huh, kiddo?” Coulson said. 

That sounded difficult. Leo nodded a little, and settled against Coulson. Then he stiffened, worrying Coulson wouldn't want any more hugs, but he felt Coulson's hands on his back, stroking softly. He relaxed, and hugged his monkey close, too. 

Lately, he couldn't stop thinking about Coulson being hurt; about how the base had been taken over and Jemma had woken him in the night. Her pale face, terrified. How they'd worried Skye was dead. And Coulson trapped in the vault, with the other SHIELD asking him endless questions. And Leo had tried so hard to take care of Jemma, and he'd been so useless. 

He felt his chest tighten, thinking about it. Don't be stupid, he told himself. You're here now. 

He stuffed the disk back into his mouth, nibbling and sucking on it. Coulson was using his tablet, reading another email. Leo focused on the fingers moving over the screen. 

And then there were voices in the hall, and Jemma and May came in. Leo sat up, waved at Jemma. She was wearing pyjamas that were too big for her, and clinging to two different stuffed animals. Her dummy was in her mouth, but she took it out to say hi. 

“May –” Coulson began. He sounded nervous, and Leo thought he was going to tell May about not coming to the zoo, and Leo wasn't sure she'd be pleased. She'd been telling him to spend more time with the kids, Leo had overheard her. 

“Will we go see Skye?” Leo said quickly, to Jemma. He didn't want to be here if Coulson and May fought. 

“Is she still asleep?” Jemma asked. 

Leo shrugged. 

“Go wake her,” May said. “We'll need time to get ready.” 

Jemma curled up on the bed next to Skye, which Leo didn't think was a good way to wake her. But then she brushed the damp hair off Skye's cheek and said, “Careful – a sea-monster's coming. A kraken. A big green one.” 

Skye nuzzled into Jemma's hand, sighing sleepily. “You're not a dragon. You're a – maybe a sea otter?” 

Jemma giggled. “OK, maybe. Close.” 

Leo was never sure how to play their games. But he tried. “A mouse?”

Jemma shook her head. “Farther away.” 

“A dolphin?” Skye suggested. She sat up, rubbing her face, her special blanket clasped in one hand. 

“Nope.” 

Skye grinned, and suddenly reached over to Jemma, tickling her ribs. “A mermaid!” Skye said. “You're always a mermaid.”

Jemma pushed her off, smiling. “OK, I'm a mermaid.” 

“And I'm a dragon.” Skye yawned. “What are you?”

Leo realised she was talking to him. “A monkey?” he suggested. 

Jemma wrinkled her nose. “You're basically already a monkey, though. You're an ape.”

“Well, a squirrel monkey, with a tail and little orange hands.” Leo was warming to the idea. He'd like to be fast and cute and good at climbing, and you didn't have to be brave if you were a monkey. You just had to be cute. 

“A squirrel monkey, a mermaid, and a dragon,” Skye said. “Will we fight crime?”

Leo went to nibble his sleeve, and then replaced it with the disk, since Coulson wanted him to. He chewed it for a moment and then said, “I'm sick of fighting crime.” 

“Me too.” Skye leant back against her pillow. “We'll go on holiday. What do you think, Jemma?” 

“Magic forest, with a lagoon for mermaids.” Jemma's eyes were half-closed, her voice dreamy. 

“I want to go to a magic ice castle,” Skye said. “You always say the same things. I'd be a frost dragon with ice for breath.” 

Leo picked up Ada, and sat her next to his monkey. “We're going to the zoo,” he said. 

Skye blinked, suddenly awake, and smiling. “We are!” She slid out of bed in a rush, bare feet drumming on the hard floor. She looked small, hair tangled with sleep, wearing just a long t-shirt and a diaper. 

Jemma wasn't smiling. She played with Ben and Teddy, running her thumb over Teddy's arm. She looked anxious again, the pale, tight face that had appeared more and more frequently recently. Leo wanted to give her a hug, but he wasn't sure if he should or if it would help. 

He went to the door and listened. He couldn't hear Coulson and May arguing. 

“I'm hungry,” Skye was saying. “Are you hungry, Jemma?” 

But Jemma stayed sitting on the bed, quiet now, nibbling her hair. Skye looked at her, and found a dummy on the bedside table. She held it to Jemma's lips, and Jemma started sucking. Leo wished he'd thought to do that. “'m scared,” Jemma murmured around her dummy. 

Skye slipped her warm, slightly sticky hand, into Leo's. “We'll talk to Mommy. We'll be right back.” 

Jemma stayed where she was. In the living room, May was sitting, facing Coulson, rubbing the back of her neck. Skye looked between them and said, as though she was psychic, “Daddy isn't coming.” 

“I'm sorry, baby,” Coulson said. Skye's hand tightened on Leo's. She looked up at Leo, eyes slightly damp, like she knew how sad he was about it. Then she let go of him and flopped into Coulson's lap, upsetting his tablet, her hair going into Coulson's face. 

“Jemma's scared,” Skye said softly. 

“She's scared?” Coulson repeated. 

May stood up. “Of course she is, Phil. She's been really struggling lately. I'll go talk to her. You change the baby. She'll want a bottle.” 

Leo watched as Coulson brushed Skye's hair out of both their faces. “Do you want a bottle?” 

Skye slid her thumb her mouth. “Orange juice,” she said around it, indistinctly. 

Leo wasn't sure whether to stay with them or go with May. But he was worried about Jemma. He chewed on his finger and then on the disk, following May out of the room. 

“I could stay here,” Jemma was saying. She was curled up on the bed, looking very small, her dummy bobbing in her mouth. “I'd be very good.” 

“I know you'd be good, sweetheart.” May's voice was very gentle. “But you'd get lonely.” 

Jemma looked away. “I just want to stay here, where it's safe.” She stared at her hands. “I'm such a baby, I'm sorry.” 

May sat by Jemma, and gently eased her into her arms. Jemma flopped against her, resting her head on May's shoulder. “I think you'll have fun,” May said softly. “And if you get too scared, we can go home. You don't have to stay there long.” 

“But then I'll ruin your trip.” 

Jemma's voice was so small—Leo couldn't stand it. He sat down on May's other side. “You won't ruin anything. If you don't like it, we'll go home. But it might be fun – you could – you could pretend it's a research trip, like the ones we went on in college. We could write a report.” 

Jemma looked at him, head tilted on one side. “What would we do?” 

“You'd have to tell me the classifications for everything, Miss Biochemist. What's the proper name for a squirrel monkey?”

“ _Simia_...” Jemma wrinkled her nose. “I don't know. No one knows that.” 

“We'll look it up,” Leo said. “It'll be a very accurate report.” 

Jemma played with Ben's ear. “Can he come too? Are you bringing your monkey?” 

Leo never brought his monkey anywhere in public. But if it would make Jemma feel better… He kind of liked the idea of his monkey seeing other monkeys, anyway. “Of course,” he said. “They'll be our lab assistants.” 

May put her arm around him as well, drawing him in. She kissed his temple. “Good,” she said. “Time to get dressed, kids. Do you think Skye's eating all the cereal?”

“Coulson feels guilty; he's probably letting her have ice cream for breakfast,” Leo said. 

May snorted. 

JEMMA

The zoo wasn't very busy. “It's a school day,” Pepper explained as she handed each of them a ticket. Jemma was glad there weren't a lot of people, but she still felt nervous. She hadn't left the Tower since they'd arrived, and she'd kind of felt like maybe she never would. Everything she needed was there—a place to live, her family, there were even labs and gyms. Outside felt too loud and too bright. 

She hugged Ben tight to her chest with one hand, and kept the other firmly gripping the edge of May's shirt. Sometimes she held May's hand instead, but right now May was holding tickets with one hand and hanging onto Skye with the other. Skye kept trying to follow Nat, who was bounding ahead, excited. 

“Where do you want to start?” Leo asked her softly. He was holding out the map. “What about tigers?” 

“ _Panthera tigris,_ ” Jemma said at once. She was pleased that she remembered the name so quickly —but then, cats were easy. 

“Very good,” Leo said. 

“We should definitely start with tigers,” Natasha said, rushing back to them. “Skye agrees.” 

Skye was standing at the entrance, holding the map, but not looking at it. She was wide-eyed, her cheeks pink. Jemma thought she'd agree to anything. Carefully, Jemma let go of May's shirt and ran over to Skye. The steps when she wasn't holding anyone were scary, but once she was by Skye, she could grab her. Skye slid her hand into Jemma's. 

“Are you excited?” Jemma asked. She thought maybe she could be excited, since Skye was. 

“I don't know where to start!” Skye said. “There's so much!” 

Jemma looked at the map. “There are lizards. They're a bit like dragons, I guess.” 

Pepper came over: her hair was pushed back by her sunglasses, and Jemma thought she still looked super elegant, even though she was wearing shorts. “We said to Nat we'd start at Tiger Mountain and work our way down. Will you two hold hands on the way? I don't want to lose anyway.” 

Skye's grip on Jemma's hand tightened instantly. “Uh-huh. I'm a good helper, Pepper.” 

“I know you are, honey,” Pepper said, smiling. Jemma suddenly wished Pepper would praise her like that too, but she didn't really know Pepper yet. 

Jemma couldn't remember the last time she'd been at a zoo. Maybe with Leo, when they were still in college? She was sure she'd taken Leo to see monkeys—but that was years and years ago, and felt far away. 

Distantly, Jemma could hear something roaring: maybe a lion; birds were shrieking too, and it was nice to hear the unfamiliar animal sounds. 

Skye clung to her hand. She was looking around, excited, but she was shy too. Her thumb kept going towards her mouth, and then she pulled it away, remembering they were in public. Jemma thought Skye was almost as nervous as she was, in her own way. 

Leo and Nat had already reached the tigers: Leo was standing back, observing, but Nat was pressed right up against the glass, staring into the cage, and whispering to the cats in Russian. The tigers were sleeping, but one stretched its paw slowly, and raised its huge, stripy head. “Oh _wow_ ,” Skye gasped, letting go of Jemma's hand, and rushing to the glass. 

For a moment, Jemma felt lost, like she couldn't be safe if she wasn't holding Skye. But she repeated the tiger's name to herself ( _panthera tigris_ ) and stepped forward. The tiger was standing up now, wandering through its grassy den towards them. It looked wild and adorable all at once. Natasha made a little, happy squeak. 

They stayed with the tigers for a long time, but eventually Pepper dragged Natasha away. It seemed only fair to take Leo to see the monkeys next, but the Madagascar section was right near the tigers, and lemurs were almost as cute as monkeys. 

“ _Lemuroidea,_ ” Leo said to her. 

“That's right,” Jemma said, surprised. 

“I'm good at primates. Even ones who diverged from monkeys millions of years ago.” Leo had his monkey with him too, its long arms looped around his neck. He was trying to look casual, as though he didn't really want to hold a raggedy monkey, but Jemma noticed that he kept touching it affectionately, rubbing his thumb over its tail. 

The lemurs were indoors, their house quieter and darker. Skye was holding tight to May's hand, and even Natasha was hushed. She and Natasha went to look at a brighter exhibit, full of ring-tailed lemurs munching grapes, holding them in their little, leathery hands. 

“Look,” Jemma whispered, pointing at the enclosure closest to her and Leo. Inside, she'd spotted a mother lemur. She was reddish in colour, and in the half-dark, Jemma could see three babies with soft grey paws, clinging to her. 

Leo leant against her, staring into the cage. One of the babies let go of its mother, and swung onto one of the ropes, hanging on by its feet. Once alone, it didn't seem sure what to do, and the mother grabbed it, and pulled it back to her. “That one's Skye,” Jemma explained. 

Leo laughed. “You're they shy one,” he said, “and the clever one is me, look!” 

Jemma wasn't sure what made the third baby clever, but she said, “I'm definitely the clever one. You're the one who's hiding against the Mommy.” 

“You both hide with Mommy,” Natasha whispered. She'd come up behind them. “They're all so cute. Am I one?” 

“There's only three,” Jemma said. 

“Oh.” Natasha looked into the cage. “I guess I'm one of the ring-tailed lemurs then.” 

She sounded a little sad about it. Leo said, “You can be one of the little red ones if you like. I can be one of the big ones.” 

Natasha shook her head. “You're not a big one. Pepper and I can be grey ones, it's OK.” 

She stayed with them as they made their way through the next enclosure, which was full of vultures and eagles. “ _Accipitridae_ ,” Jemma said, but that was just the family name – she couldn't remember any of the genus names. She tried hard though, because the birds were menacing, with their glaring eyes and shiny feathers. 

She hung back while Leo and Skye rushed ahead. They both, for some reason, loved the scary birds, whispering terms of endearment to them and telling each other how cool they were. 

“I want to be one,” Skye was saying. “The black one! No, the grey one with red face!” 

“Vultures are definitely better than eagles,” Leo agreed. “Look at that clever little one. Aren't you a smart boy?” He was leaning towards the cage, holding the monkey up, so it could see, too. 

“They're icky,” Natasha said. 

Jemma nodded, backing further away. 

“And they smell bad.” Natasha wrinkled her nose. 

“They do,” May agreed. “Now Leo's going to start asking for a pet vulture. I blame you, Pepper.”

“It's not my fault your kids have terrible taste,” Pepper said. 

“If Leo gets a vulture, I want a...” Natasha began, but Pepper instantly cut her off by saying she already had a Liho. 

Skye was pressed right up against the glass. The vulture inside was watching her, head cocked on one side. It made Jemma's tummy hurt – even though she knew Skye was safe, she felt like the vulture might sneak out and attack her. And then a group of little kids, maybe on a field trip, came through, all shouting and laughing at once, and Jemma's tummy clenched up really tight, and she held Ben to her face. She didn't want to be scared, but she was. 

She looked around for May, but Mommy was standing by Skye, pulling her back by her t-shirt so she didn't attempt to climb into the vulture cage. And the kids were between Jemma and Mommy – Jemma felt tears behind her eyes, she didn't want to cry, but it was hard. 

Suddenly Natasha's hand was in hers, the girl gripping her tight, and Pepper was on her other side. “Let's walk down to the bench just over there,” Pepper said, pointing. “Your Mommy and the others will catch up.” 

Jemma didn't know if she wanted to go out of sight of Mommy, but Natasha was tugging at her, and the kids were running around, exclaiming over the eagles and trying to make eagle noises. 

It was quieter on the bench, and shady. Jemma nibbled her hand, wishing she had her pacifier. Her tummy felt fluttery, and she realised she needed to pee, as well. She glanced around, but she didn't see a bathroom, and she didn't know what to do about it. 

“What will we see next?” Pepper was saying. “There's something nearby called a Mouse House. It can't just be full of mice, can it?”

“We can bring some home for Liho to eat,” Natasha said with a grin. 

“ _Mus musculus_ ,” Jemma whispered to herself. That was just the common house-mouse though. There were probably a lot of other species she didn't even know about. 

Suddenly Skye ran past them, her arms stretched out. She circled once and came to sit on the bench by Jemma. “I was being a vulture.” 

“You know you're not supposed to run off,” Pepper said, standing so she could wave to May and let her know where they were. 

Skye was already looking contrite. “I'm sorry, Mommy,” she whispered. “I was just being a vulture.”

“I like to know where you are, kid, even when you're being a vulture,” May said. 

Jemma nibbled on a strand of hair. She wondered if she should ask about the bathroom now. But maybe Mommy was busy? She wriggled a little. She knew she should say something, because she didn't want to wet her pull-up. 

“Will we check out the Mouse House?” Pepper suggested. “We're not sure what's in there.”

“Chinchillas,” Leo said, reading the map. “And fennec foxes. What's a fennec fox's proper name, Jemma?”

“I don't know,” Jemma said. “Foxes are _vulpes_.” 

“We'll have to look it up when we get home.” Leo was nibbling at his new disk again. 

“I like foxes,” Skye said thoughtfully. She was leaning against May. 

“Then we'll go see them,” Pepper stood up. 

Jemma squirmed a little. Maybe there would be a bathroom on the way? She didn't know. She glanced at Mommy, and then grabbed her shirt. “What it is it, little one?” May asked. 

“I need to...” Jemma shifted. It was hard to say. 

“You need to go to the bathroom?” May supplied. “OK. Good job for telling me.” 

“Will you take Natasha with you?” Pepper asked. 

“I don't need to go,” Nat said. “I want to see the chinchillas.” 

“You can see them after,” Pepper said. “And you do need to go, I can see you squirming.” 

Natasha sighed. “It's boring.” 

“Should I take Skye or change her later?” May wondered, glancing appraisingly at her. 

Jemma bit her lip. The conversation seemed like it was going to take ages, and she wasn't sure how long she could wait. She glanced at Mommy, shifting her weight from foot to foot. 

May noticed, because she was good at noticing things like that. “Oh, baby. Come on, I think there's a bathroom just behind the parrots. You too, Natasha.”

Jemma clung to Mommy's hand, Natasha following a few paces behind. 

Mommy helped her walk past the macaws (who were making a lot of noise, and Jemma couldn't remember their Latin name at all) and then there was a dark house for reptiles. Suddenly another group of children came out of the reptile house. They were following their teacher, and some of them were wearing animal masks. They weren't scary at all, but somehow Jemma's tummy still went all tight and hard, and she felt her muscles fluttering. 

She gripped Ben and Mommy's shirt, wishing she could hide in Mommy's arms, or that maybe they could just go home. Behind them, the macaws were still screaming. Then Jemma felt her knees tremble, and there was a rush of heat in her pull-up. She crossed her legs hard, hiding her face in May's shoulder. 

Suddenly it was quieter. “It's OK,” Mommy said gently, trying to lead Jemma away. But when Jemma took a step, she froze. Her tummy hurt, her legs hurt, and her bladder burned. She felt it begin to trickle warmly into her pull-up. Maybe she could hold it, maybe if she tried really hard, but she felt so small and so scared, and she didn't know how to wait any longer. 

She sniffled, hiding her face in her hands and in Ben's soft tummy, and felt the pull-up expand between her legs. 

“Don't cry.” It was Natasha's voice, not Mommy's. Natasha stroked Jemma's back. “It's OK, I couldn't hold on either, it happens.” 

Natasha sounded completely cheerful and matter-of-fact about being wet – more, even, than Skye would be. Jemma wondered how she could be so insouciant about something that made Jemma feel so bad. 

“She's right,” Mommy said gently, rubbing Jemma's shoulder. “It's not you fault.” 

Jemma pressed herself against Mommy. She just wanted to be in Mommy's arms – safe and held, and somewhere far away. 

“Now we don't have to go to the boring bathroom,” Natasha was saying. “We can go straight back to the animals.” 

“No, we can't,” May snorted. “You both need to get changed. Besides, maybe I want to go to the bathroom too.” 

“You should wear a pull-up too, Mel,” Natasha said, giggling a little. Jemma smiled too, because the idea was so silly. She was able to move away from Mommy – just hold her hand instead of clinging to her. 

“Will we get you clean?” Mommy said to her gently, brushing Jemma's hair back from her face. 

Jemma nodded. 

The bathroom was sparse, but at least it was quiet and clean. They went into the room for baby-changing, even thought Nat complained she wasn't a baby. Mommy put the diaper bag by the sink, and Jemma rooted in it, finding her dummy. She slid it into her mouth, sucking hard, rocking Ben against her chest. 

Natasha stood beside her. “If you want to go home, it's OK,” she said softly. “Sometimes it's scary. We can always come back another time.”

Jemma hadn't expected her to say that. She hadn't expected her to notice. And somehow, that helped – he felt a little braver. “I'll be OK,” she said, carefully holding the dummy by her mouth. “I just need a minute.” 

Natasha leant her head on Jemma's shoulder for a second, nudging her like a cat might nudge her to show affection. “You can have lots of minutes.” 

SKYE 

Leo kept asking her what she liked best. But Skye didn't know. She liked everything best—she liked the red-ruffed lemurs best, and the lazy tigers, and the clever vultures. She liked the little chinchilla with its fluffy tail best, and she liked the fennec fox with its big, dark eyes and its tiny paws best. They were all the best, and it was a little overwhelming to know there were so many best things and she'd never even seen them before. 

They'd been in Jungle World for a long time, but Skye was happy. Above them, monkey were playing, black and golden, leaping among leaves and from ropes. Jemma and Leo were discussing the name of the species, and where they were from. Skye didn't really mind where they came from – she just knew she liked them. Mommy and Pepper had gone to sit on a bench, and Skye joined them. She leant against Mommy, sliding her thumb into her mouth. She didn't think there was anyone around to see, and she wasn't sure she cared, anyway. 

May brushed her hair back from her face. “How do you feel, little one?”

“Good,” Skye said, slurring a little around her thumb. She curled closer to Mommy, finding a comfortable place to rest her head. She could still see the monkeys, their green shadows, and the dark leaves. Jemma was holding Leo's hand, and smiling. Natasha had said something that made Leo laugh. Skye felt like she could stay here forever. 

“Do you like the zoo?” Pepper asked. 

Skye thought that was kind of dumb question. Of course she liked the zoo! “I want to live in the Mouse House,” she said at last. “Or maybe in here.” 

“I think I'd miss you,” May said. “Coulson, too.” 

“You come too,” Skye said. She was starting to really want her blanket, and maybe a bottle. But she couldn't ask for that, not here. 

“I'm not sure I'd be happy in the zoo.” May laughed. 

“I could find a nice, comfortable enclosure for Skye and Natasha, get them out of everyone's hair,” Pepper said. “We'd visit you on weekends. What do you think, Skye?” 

Skye thought about it. “Mommy would have to come too,” she said. She ran a strand of hair over her nose. “Maybe instead we could paint a room in the house so it's like a jungle. And fill it with stuffed animals. Monkeys and bats and foxes and vultures.” 

“That sounds really nice,” Pepper said. “I bet Leo would like that too.”

“And Jemma,” May said. “Jemma always lives in a forest in your stories, doesn't she, Skye?”

“Uh-huh. She's usually a mermaid, but sometimes she's a unicorn.” Skye listened to Mommy's breath under her ear. She could feel her eyes getting heavy. But she wasn't supposed to fall asleep! There was so much to do, so many more animals to see. 

But she wasn't sure she could handle seeing any more things. There were so many: she loved them all, but it felt like so much. She leant heavily on Mommy, her thumb moving in her mouth. If she shut her eyes, she could pretend she was alone somewhere with Mommy, somewhere she could maybe nurse and sleep just a little. 

“She's not going to last much longer,” May murmured to Pepper. 

Skye was torn between explaining that she wasn't tired at all, and being glad that Mommy had noticed. 

“I'm jealous you have little ones who'll take naps. Natasha can go all day,” Pepper said. 

“It's only Skye,” May explained. “Sometimes Jemma.” 

“But Leo is no trouble,” Pepper added. 

“Hmm.” Skye's eyes were shut, but she felt like she could see the thoughtful expression on May's face. “Sometimes I wish Leo were more trouble. He hides what he's feeling.” 

There was a pause, and then Skye heard Pepper say, “You're a good Mom, you know that?” Her voice was soft and warm. 

“Uh-huh,” Skye murmured, blinking up at Pepper from her position in May's arms. “The best.” 

“I think it's lunch time,” May said quickly. “I'll drag Leo away.” 

She tried to stand up, but Skye held on. She found herself nuzzling at May's breast a little, which wasn't OK – she couldn't want that, not here, not now. She sat up a little, but kept her cheek resting against Mommy's shoulder. 

“I'll go get the kids,” Pepper said. She was smiling at Skye. 

They decided to eat lunch on a picnic table near Baboon Mountain. (“ _Theropithecus_?” said Jemma, thoughtfully, to Leo. 

“Sounds good,” he said.

Natasha asked, “Why are they speaking in code?” 

“It's just what they do,” Skye explained.) It felt like a long walk to get there, and Skye was hot, her head beginning to hurt. Leo and Natasha wanted to stand and look at the baboons, but Skye and Jemma sat on either side of May. Skye just wanted a cool bottle to drink, and her blanket. She settled for sipping ice water from a flask Pepper had brought. 

There were grapes, and little pastries, and different kinds of sandwiches. Skye did her best to eat some of it, but she kept yawning. Even Natasha and Leo looked a little tired, though they were both munching sandwiches. Leo was telling them some facts he'd read about baboons. 

“I'll take Skye back to the car,” May said to Pepper, after Skye yawned a third time and nearly fell asleep in her pastry. “She can nap, and I'll do some work. You guys can finish up here, and meet us in an hour or so.” 

Jemma slid her hand into May's. “I want to come with you, Mommy.” 

“Are you sure?” May touched Jemma's cheek. 

“We were going to see the penguins,” Leo said. “I'll be there, and May won't be far.” 

Jemma flushed and stared at her hands. “It's OK,” May said gently. “You can come with me. We'll have some quiet time.” 

It felt like an even longer walk back to the parking lot. Jemma looked around at the enclosures they passed, but Skye just concentrated on following Mommy. By the time they reached the exit, she was almost in tears, even though she didn't mean to be. She just felt so tired, and it was all so much. And she wanted to see the penguins, and she wasn't going to get a chance, and she was such a _baby_. 

At the car, Mommy kissed Skye's cheeks, gently, just where the tears were falling, and then hugged her close. “Jemma, will you sit in the front while I change Skye back here? Then we can all cuddle together, how does that sound?” 

It was stuffy in the car, but Jemma apparently felt big enough to turn on the AC, so Skye felt cool air blowing over her warm cheeks. She felt so heavy, her eyes hot and tired, and it was hard not to wriggle away from Mommy's hands. She hadn't really thought about whether she was wet or not – there'd been too many other things in her mind – but now she could feel the heaviness in her diaper. She shut her eyes, reminding herself she was safe, but feeling some more tears trickle down her cheeks. 

“It's OK, shhh, I'm right here,” Mommy was whispering to her. 

Luckily Skye was wearing a skirt: it was long, coming past her knees, but Mommy could push it up, so the change went quickly. She'd only been changed once or twice in the back of the car before, but with the tinted windows, it felt safe, not exposed. She felt herself calming with Mommy's cool hands on her skin, the soft cream rubbed into her bottom. 

When it was done, Jemma climbed in the back with them. Mommy found Skye's blanket in one of the bags, and Skye grabbed it. She heard herself making a soft, happy sound when she held it, which made her feel embarrassed, but Mommy smiled and kissed her forehead, and hugged her close. 

Jemma was sucking softly on a bottle that Mommy had given her, and Mommy settled Skye into her arms. It was an awkward angle, the back of the car a smaller space than they were used to, but Mommy was able to hold a bottle for Skye, too, so she had something to suck. It soothed her, as did the feeling of Mommy's warmth against her, and Jemma's voice as she asked Mommy if they could read stories, and the quietness of being alone together. 

“I wanted to see the penguins, though,” Skye murmured around the bottle. 

“Don't worry, baby,” May said. “We can visit again. We can come here as often as you like.” 

“Really?” Skye hadn't thought there'd be other trips. She felt herself drifting into sleep, thinking about tapirs and meerkats and flamingos, all the animals she hadn't seen and would see. 

NATASHA

“Having all these siblings is so much work,” Natasha said as Pepper opened the door to their apartment. 

“Is it, kitten?” Pepper was smiling. 

“Yes. I have to keep Leo entertained, and make sure Jemma is OK, and Skye...” Natasha trailed off. Skye was fun, even though she was little. They were all fun. 

“And Skye?” Pepper prompted her. 

As Pepper closed the door, Natasha held out her arms, demanding a hug. Pepper pulled her close. “What is it?”

“You won't forget you're my Mama, will you?” Natasha said. “You're not anyone else's. You're mine.” 

Pepper laughed. “I don't think I could forget that for a second.” 

Natasha leant her head on Pepper's shoulder. “They're cute,” she explained. “But they can't have you.” 

Pepper kissed her forehead. “I know. They have their own parents, don't they, honey? And you're enough for me to handle.” 

“OK.” Natasha gripped Pepper's hand. It was silly, she even liked it when they babysat Skye or the others, but she still felt a little scared. What if Pepper decided she liked someone more than she liked Natasha? 

Pepper let Natasha go and went into the kitchen, putting down the picnic stuff they'd brought with them. Liho followed her, mewing for food. 

“OK, OK,” Natasha said to Liho. “You're starving to death, I know.” She got out the kibble, telling Liho, “We saw mice today, but they were really fancy mice, I don't think you could eat them.” 

Pepper put a Tupperware in the sink. “That cat has never caught a mouse. I don't think she'd know how.” 

Natasha crouched down by Liho, petting her before she put out the kibble. “We're both cold blooded killers, really,” she explained. “Even if we pretend to be something else.” 

She'd meant to say it as a joke, but her voice came out sounding too serious, and Pepper didn't laugh. It reminded Natasha of all the times she'd cried about exactly that fear – that she was a killer, a monster, and she couldn't do anything to change it – and Pepper had comforted her. 

Now, she said, “Should we lie down for a little? My feet hurt.” They didn't, actually, but she betted Pepper's did. 

Pepper nodded, hiding a yawn in her hand. “That'd be nice. Are you wet, by the way?”

“I used the bathroom before we left the zoo,” Nat said. “I'm OK.” She'd probably wear a diaper later, but right now she was glad she was wearing a pull-up like a big girl, because she didn't want Pepper to do any extra work. Nat knew she was a lot of trouble. 

Pepper stretched out on the bed. “Do you want to watch something, honey?”

Nat shrugged, but Pepper put on the TV, flicking through Netflix until she found a sitcom they both liked. She turned the sound down low. “Don't let me fall asleep,” Pepper said. 

Natasha sat at the end of the bed and tugged Pepper's feet into her lap. She massaged them, running her thumbs over the arches and toes, the places where she knew they'd be sore. Pepper made a soft, appreciative sound. Natasha was sure her eyes were already drifting shut. 

It was nice to do something for Mommy. When she was little, Nat sometimes tried to help around the house, but she wasn't any good at it. She'd forget what she was supposed to be doing in the middle of a task, or she'd get distracted and make a bigger mess than she'd started out with. Pepper always said, “It's OK, I like cooking, and if I want someone to come in and clean, I just have to make a call.” 

But Natasha just wanted to show Mommy that she appreciated her. Because Natasha knew she was so much work – she was so little and she wanted so much attention, and even if she was big she still had nightmares and didn't sleep and wanted cuddles all the time. 

_Skye think she's too much work as well; Jemma worries she's too much trouble_ , Natasha reminded herself. Mommy was making a little snuffly noise which meant she was asleep, so Natasha turned of the TV. _And Skye and Jemma are adorable, and you've seen the way Mel looks at them. Pepper looks at you like that, too._

But Natasha didn't really understand, because while she loved playing with Skye and Jemma and Leo, she couldn't imagine looking after them all the time. It would be exhausting. 

She stood up carefully. Should she cover Mommy with a blanket? Natasha didn't think it was that cold, but she spread a crochet blanket over Mommy anyway, and picked up Yezh, who was sleeping next to the pillow. She imagined Yezh yawning grumpily – hedgehogs were really lazy. 

In her playroom she flopped down next to the other stuffed animals, and picked up her tablet. There were a few different messages and reminders. She had a training session with Skye and Bruce tomorrow – much as she loved them both, working with two different people who had trouble controlling their powers was a little intimidating. There was also message from Tony sent a few minutes ago asking if they were back from the zoo. 

_Yes, come over,_ she wrote back. _Pepper's sleeping, but we have cookies._

He said: _It's a cookies kind of day, not a Scotch kind of day?_

_It's always a cookies day here. You love it._ Natasha curled up on the hammock, rocking it slightly. For a long time she hadn't liked the rocking sensation, because it reminded her of being a kid, alone, in a cold room, rocking herself back and forth because that was the only comfort she had. But now, Pepper had held her and rocked her so often that it felt soothing again. 

Tony let himself, and came into the playroom with a jar of Pepper's chocolate chunk cookies. “Are you supposed to have these?” he said. 

“What do you care?” Nat watched him ease the lid open. 

“I care because your Mom is scary,” Tony replied. 

Natasha shrugged. Pepper didn't really have strict rules about food – she trusted Natasha to be sensible. (Nat had overheard Melinda saying, “Well, _that's_ a mistake,” when she'd discovered that rule.) From behind her, Nat pulled out a soft, white bear she knew Tony liked and threw it to him. 

“Should I make him do a funny voice?” Tony handed her a cookie. 

“If it helps,” Natasha said. 

“I don't know why you think I want this bear, kiddo. I'm not one of you.” 

“I know. You're not as emotionally mature as me.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “I thought you might get off this subject now you have the SHIELD kids to play with.” 

“I'm just looking out for you, Tony,” Natasha said, which wasn't a lie. She didn't know if Tony was really little, like her, or if he just happened to love teddy-bears and games and cartoons, but either way, she wanted him to feel safe. 

She hadn't felt safe for such a long time. She'd thought she'd never be safe. Now everything was different. And it was because of Tony she'd met Pepper. 

“Are you too full of cookies, or do you want to chase me?” Natasha said. She was a little tired from the zoo, but she wouldn't mind playing with Tony in one of the gyms – or training, as he called it. 

“Don't you ever get tired, kid?” he grabbed her foot, tugging on it. 

She did – sometimes she was so tired she thought she might fall over and never get up. She felt jealous of Skye with her dreamy eyes and the placid way she settled into sleep, because Natasha could never be like that. It was so hard to rest. She had to fight and fight with herself and then maybe she could finally lie down. 

Anyway, sleeping was boring. “Let's play,” she said, tugging her foot out of Tony's grasp, and leaping off the hammock. She started running, and after a moment, she could hear him chasing her. 

*

Much later, she was with Pepper again, curled in the warmth of her arms. Natasha's fingers were in her mouth, Yezh under her arm. She felt safe and restless at the same time, suspended between two worlds. 

Pepper was talking to Melinda on the phone: “Did he really say that?” and then made a cross ticking sound with her tongue. Then she said, “Yes, of course. Tomorrow. We'd love to have her.” 

Natasha snuggled closer to Pepper, and waiting impatiently for the conversation to end. “Remember you're my Mommy,” and then felt embarrassed for repeating it, hiding her head in Pepper's chest. 

“If it bothers you, kitten, I can tell Mel no,” Pepper said. 

But Natasha knew that would be mean. And she'd been lonely for so long, with no one to play with. No one really the same as she was. She'd had Mel telling her it was OK to be the way she was, and Pepper had given her everything, but she'd still felt a little lost. 

“They can come. Changes are just hard, Mama,” Natasha explained. 

“I know,” Pepper said, stroking her hair. “It's nearly bedtime. Do you want to nurse?” 

It wasn't something they did often, but Natasha knew at once that yes, she did. It was what she needed. She nodded, curling up against Pepper's chest, finding the place where she was always safe.

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine the Coulson bought Leo a chewable pendant something like [this](http://www.stimtastic.co/stim-jewelry/chewable-droplet-pendant-necklace). 
> 
> I have never been to the [Bronx Zoo](http://bronxzoo.com/) but I used their website as a template for what the kids might have done. It looks like an amazing zoo!


End file.
